At Mary's House

Mary's House, Ephesus (Photo credit: Leah Orig)

I remember sitting at the back pew, feeling grateful to have made it in time.  I rushed from the office, not wanting to miss Mass.  It's the feast of Mary Immaculate, our barangay's (village) patron and as I listened to Archbishop's homily, found out that she's the entire country's as well.

I listened as Archbishop expounded on the significance of the occasion and why it is considered a Holy Day of Obligation.  When he started talking about Ephesus and made reference to the house where St. John brought Mary after Jesus' death, I was intrigued.  I remember telling myself, I will go there one day.

Now, Turkey is such a long way from home.  I don't know when I'd eventually get to go and how.  I just knew I wanted to.  I've always wanted to go to Istanbul.  Hearing about Ephesus then, made the going even more appealing.

When I sat there on 8th December of 2014, I never imagined being "deployed" to Iraq in just a few months from then -- an "arrangement" that made it a lot easier for the Ephesus dream to happen.

When I found myself sitting at the Turkish Embassy in Erbil waiting for my visa application, I was brought back to that moment sitting at the back pew and could not believe I was finally taking steps to making it a reality. It felt surreal.

It took three tries (I even got assisted by a friend on my second one.  However, I made some mistake in my online application so the three hours sitting there and waiting was actually for nothing).  But yes, eventually, I did get one just three days away of my scheduled flight.

Before Sunrise in Istanbul.  Leah and I arrived separately a day earlier, at late afternoon so we practically just spent the night.  We did some last minute shopping for necessities but went right back to the hotel after.  We had to sort out our luggage – choose the few things we will be bringing with us for an overnight in Kusadasi and two days around Izmir and Pamukkale.  Both being OC, it took some time but we slept since we were both tired from rushing last minute things at work before taking our leave.

Off to Izmir.  Our call time was at 5:00 AM and the tour guide was very prompt.  We still had time to grab some breakfast at the airport but soon enough, we found ourselves in Izmir.  The ride to Selcuk centre took around 15 minutes. 

Visit to Mary’s House on Mother’s Day. Yup, it was amazing how everything worked out.  On our way to Selcuk, I greeted Mama and Mama Fely for the occasion and told them how grateful I was to be finding myself on our way to visit Mama Mary’s place on this very special day.  I felt overwhelmed from it all. 

We toured Ephesus, Temple of Artemis and went to some ceramic and carpet shops.  Ephesus was amazing (an entry later on it alone) but I felt as if everything was building up for the very reason why I wanted to be at Izmir. 

And there we were.  The energy of the place was amazing.  I was overwhelmed with unexplainable emotion.  I felt choked by it.  Our guide told us we were lucky to have come when it wasn’t yet at the height of tourist season.  We were able to enter Mary’s house quickly.  She said the queue could have taken us hours. 

The minute I step foot inside the house, the tears came.  I don’t know what they were for, really.  Must be a mixture of gratitude, disbelief that I really made it… or it was simply the energy of the place.  It’s so tangible it felt like I could touch this energy if I would stretch out my hand and grope for it. 

I knelt down to pray and I could not stop crying.  There were no special prayers of requests, only thanksgiving.  Being there was already a privilege.  And without question, my life is a demonstration of countless blessings.  I feel so awed by it all.  I felt sorry that we did not have enough time so we could stay longer.  I would have wanted more time to pray, to reflect and drink up the energy of the place. 

Leaving a part of me behind.  We had to stay a bit to wait for one of our companions.  There were only three of us on that tour -- Leah, myself and Yvette, a Cuban doctor on a solo tour -- and our guide, Nafia.  

I sat there, imagining how Mary must have spent her last days there.  On our ride to our hotel and the days that ensued, the visit was still very much on my mind.  The place is amazing, up on a mountain.  It felt isolated and yet comforting at the same time.  I wondered how in that place Mary could have come to terms with her grief and everything she had went through -- seeing Christ ridiculed, suffered and crucified.  I’m a mother myself and I could imagine how painful everything must have been. How can you live with that?  How do you heal from all of that?  And the house must have played significantly in the shaping of early Christianity.  No wonder the energy of the place.  

I remember being emotional as well sitting outside Bayon Temple in Cambodia.  However, the rawness I felt while in Mary's house hit me at my very core.  It felt as if it was so close to my truth. 

As we exited the house, our guide, Nafia pointed out to me a glass case with several things in it.  She told me it is where "donated" personal articles are kept.  Without hesitation I unchained my silver bracelet, a recent acquisition and favorite.  It has a small, quaint luggage as one of it's charms.  I loved it because it represented my love for travel.  I usually have a hard time putting it on or removing it.  Yet, in one swift click at the lock, it quickly fell to my hand and then I handed it to Nafia.  I said I wanted to leave it there.  It's not much in terms of value but it represents a part of who I am and my leaving it there symbolizes my leaving a part of me to remain there.  

I don't know whether I would still have a chance to travel there.  I would love to go back and perhaps, this time, spend a longer time.  So yes, I've definitely left a part of me in Ephesus.  Not just my heart but perhaps a little chunk of who I am.  I know, I've also taken a bit of Ephesus -- of Mary's house in particular -- and lodged it in my heart... 

Thank you, God for the wonderful opportunity and for shaping everything up so beautifully.